Last week my husband looked me in the eyes and said, “your life stresses me out, just be still.”
Now that could’ve been offensive but I am pretty self aware & I know I am a true busy body. I mean my whole life I was told to slow down. I would actually get in trouble by my mom for being so busy. She would put me on restriction to literally restrict me from doing too much. In fact, the most common 5 word phrase I have heard throughout my life is, “You’re always doing the most!”
I know I am not alone in this. Busyness has become a marker of success to us, especially as a mama in this generation. We are flooded with images of moms that manage 1,000 things all while staying home with their children & looking pretty on “the gram”. In our generation being a “boss mom” tends to mean being a busy mom as if being home with kids is no longer good enough. I get messages constantly from mamas asking me how do I do it all as if there is some sort of envy towards my busyness. I am learning that “doing it all” usually means not doing anything well.
I currently am a stay at home/homeschooling mom. I also am a wife that wants to have a dope marriage. Those 2 things come with a lot of other titles & responsibilities yet it never feels like enough. I intentionally seek out other jobs, tasks, & responsibilities just to feel like I am doing something. Then my life begins to look like this. . .
Kids not bathed for 3 days. . .
Dishes are above & beyond what my sink can handle. . .
Husband feels like he is not married because his wife is steadily unavailable. . .
Kids irritating me every single day simply because they’re being kids but my attention is too divided to bear the weight of kids. . .
Friends feel like I am inconsistent because I’m constantly overbooking myself. . .
House is always half clean. . .
Jalyssa has not had a conversation with herself, meditated, or tended to any of her needs. . .
Insert chronic anxiety, panic attacks, insomnia, weight gain, & so much more. . .
Be still mama. Say no. Choose some things, not everything. Because at the end of the day, when it is all said & done, no one will remember how successful you were due to your busy schedule. What they will remember is this.
Her kids grew up to be health, thriving adults. . .
Her home was always open, available, & ready to serve others. . .
Her marriage was a strong & beautiful example for others because she loved & served her husband well. . .
She was a friend to many & was consistent in her love for others. . .
Jalyssa was bold, confident, kind, & strong in the Lord.
This is success & this kind of success requires a certain kind of woman. A woman who lets her yes truly be yes, her no’s be intentional no’s, & tends to her life well.
Friends, sometimes we have to look ourselves right in the eyes & say, “sis, be still”. If we learn to be still we learn to be present. & when we learn to be present we begin to truly live.
I encourage you to continue to pursue your passions. That is one of my favorite things about our generation is that we are so fearless. We are business owners, writers, advocates, & fighters all before the age of 30! This is beautiful. But on the other side of that I encourage you to rest. Keep your eggs in just a couple baskets mama. Millennials are so brave but we are also so busy. So to all my millennial mamas, the brave & fearless women of this generation, be still, take your time, we will never get “right now” back.