“It’s all happening too fast.” “Mama, let it happen.”
This is what a recent conversation of mine looked like with a friend. I was expressing my anxieties about sending my oldest to kindergarten & a sweet friend reminded me that I just have to let it happen.
You see, Noah made me a mama just 5.5 years ago. Last week he lost a tooth, this week he started kindergarten. I am starting to feel like next week he will be introducing me to the woman he wants to give his last name!
Yea sis I know, I’m dramatic. But it feels like this ok.
For almost 6 years I have been home with my boys, just me & them. I have never had to trust someone to tend to their needs or care for them. But then a transition occurs & we are in a new space that requires new surrender.
In childbirth there is a phase called “transition”. Transition is said to be the most painful stage in a woman’s birthing experience & often the point where a woman asks for the epidural. The epidural can feel like a sort of rescue because it numbs the pain but with or without it, transition occurs. This is the time I always tap out & ask for the epidural. I try to listen to the words of my doula & power through the pain. She always says to me, “Transition is necessary because it is the very thing that gets a woman to the point of birth. So here we go mama. . . Jalyssa, breathe slowly, let it happen, embrace it, surrender. . . there is something so beautiful on the other side of this transition.” After 4 babies I realize whether I feel it or not transition happens, it’s necessary, & the result of its occurrence is the most beautiful gift. I often wonder if I just listened to my doula, surrendered & let it happen, would I be able to make it through without getting numb?
I am realizing transition never stops for mothers, it just looks different per season. Each time a new transition approaches we just have to let it happen, surrender. No need to try & numb the pain, the shift is inevitable. Just like in childbirth, at the end of each transition there is a beautiful gift. I just have to look for it.
There is a gift right here in front of me in my 5.5 year old who is gaining independence. The gift of conversation & curiosity. The gift of little growing hands eager to help mama. The gift of memories made & memories being made.